The Evil Pants
by Jewl4Life
Summary: Yaoi. One Shot. There is a new threat to Konoha and the only one who can destroy it is Sasuke! SasuNaru


The Evil Pants

SasuNaru

Warning: This is a yaoi or a slash; do not like do not read.

Summery:

In a land far, far away there was a village known as Konoha. Konoha was the village of the leaf ninjas, and they all thought that the inhabitants were all normal human beings. But they were wrong. In this village resides… The Evil Pants! Or that what Sasuke says at least.

* * *

The Evil Pants

Sasuke was bored out of his mind. It was about noon and he was usually doing a mission at this time, but sadly there was none. He was sitting in a tree trying to figure out what to do to pass the time. Earlier he trained and called Naruto a dobe and other fun names. He only did it because he like to see Naruto flustered, it was so cute!

Sasuke was eating lunch while he was thinking. Then it hit him, Naruto! He decided to find Naruto and mess with him some more.

Sasuke got up and started running through the trees looking for Naruto. "Where is the dobe", muttered Sasuke after checking Naruto's usual hangouts.

Then no sooner than he said that he saw Naruto sleeping in a small clearing. Sasuke looked around and saw that the trees had kunai in them and realized that Naruto had been training not long ago. Then he noticed something else, Naruto was topless sleeping only in his orange pants.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. He did not like those pants. He wanted them off! Then he got an idea… "Oi Naruto!" Sasuke said while kicking Naruto in the side.

"Ah! I'm sorry Raman-sama. You were just so… Huh? Sasuke-teme?" Naruto said looking up. Naruto looked cute all confused like that but he would look better without those pants.

"Dobe get up", Sasuke said. With that sentence Naruto got up, unknowingly following Sasuke's orders, and proceeded to verbally abuse his teammate.

"What the hell Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled, his face going red. "You freaking had to wake me up just to pick a fight with me? Well fuck you. I was having a good dream too! Believe it!"(A.N. I couldn't resist putting his catch phrase there. XD)

Sasuke raised his eyes in a half interested expression and asked, "What were you dreaming about?" His face dominated by the end of the question by the trademarked Uchiha smirk.

Naruto's face turned red, "Uh… Umm…" Naruto didn't want to tell Sasuke about his dream because he wouldn't hear the end of it. Especially because it wasn't everyday that you have very disturbing dreams about your teammate. Your hot, sexy, male teammate. "None of your business Sasuke-teme!" He yelled in hopes of not having to answer the question. And to his luck Sasuke was too impatient for this right now.

"Whatever dobe, I have no time for this," he said(A.N. Funny, earlier he had too much time...). "We have to go to my house," Sasuke said.

"Huh?" Naruto said, confused. "Why do we have to go to your house Sasuke?" asked the poor confused kitsune.

"Because, there is a dangerous threat that we can only get rid of in my house," Said Sasuke in a no nonsense and irritated tone.

"Oh," Naruto said like he understood, but... He didn't. "Okay", he said picking up his orange jacket and slipping it over his head.

Sasuke smirked and took off, knowing that Naruto would follow, He laughed a little (A.N. in his head..) while thinking about the crazy story he told Naruto. There really was a threat, to Naruto's singleness. What with the looks that Neji, Gaara, and hell, even Kiba gave him, he wouldn't be single for long.

When they reached the populated part, Sasuke stopped. "Naruto," He said "this is very dangerous business. Our enemy will go after me mostly, but let me warn you! Be on your guard. They may seem like normal pretty girls, but they are of a very dangerous breed. They are Fan girls!!"

Naruto's eyes opened widened and his face paled. Both he and Sasuke shuddered in fear simultaneously.

"How will we make it Sasuke?" Naruto asked seriously scared, but who wouldn't be. It is Fan girls that we're talking about people.

"Don't get seen," replied Sasuke, "and if you do run, fast." Sasuke then slunk along a wall then jumped into a roof with Naruto in tow.

"Hey, did you see that," came the voice of a certain pink-haired psycho kunoichi said(A.N. Pink-haired psycho kunoichi...HeeHee ).

"Yeah," said another familiar voice. A voice that belonged to blonde psycho kunoichi.

Sasuke and Naruto looked in horror at each other. The two psycho kunoichi were none other than Sakura and Ino, the leaders of all the fan boys and girls, and the reason they were hiding now.

"It looked like a black-blue bird and an orange bird, very large birds too, flew onto the roof," said an random fangirl.

"Yeah," Sakura said, "let's go check it out."

"Shit!" said Sasuke and Naruto at the same time. The started running while hearing cries of 'It's them!' and 'Sasuke-kun' and 'get them!' Finally they lost them in the maze of buildings.

"When will they ever give up," Sasuke gasped, out of breath.

"You mean this happens all the time?" Naruto asked amazed. "Man I feel sorry for you..."

* * *

They finally made it to Sasuke's house where they were suppose to destroy some threat, whatever that was. "So... What is the threat?" Naruto asked.

"Take off your pants," Sasuke said simply.

"What?! What the hell Sasuke?!" Naruto yelled looking scandalized. My pants are not dangerous!"

"Listen dobe," Sasuke said, "the threat **is** your pants. They **are** dangerous. The only way to beat them is to get rid of them and do what I say." He finished his little speech by crossing his arms with an irritated look on his face.

"Uh... Okay Sasuke-teme." Naruto said while starting to take his pants off. "How can you tell if pants are evil?" Naruto asked unexpectingly, breaking Sasuke from his perverted fantasies caused by watching Naruto removing his clothing.

"..." Sasuke was quiet for a second. "With my Sharningan." Sasuke answered cleverly because he is one of the only two people in the village with the sharningan.

"Then why didn't Kakashi-sensei tell me?" Naruto was getting even more confused. All of this info was hurting his small head, there was a reason he failed for three years then only barely passing.

"he was the one who told me to help you and to tell you to never mention it to anyone other than me." Sasuke replied.

"Because, if word of it gets out, there would be panic everywhere." Sasuke said irritated. Why can't the dobe stop asking questions and go along with Sasuke's story.

Naruto looked at him, "Oh... Okay."

"That is the last question that I am answering." Sasuke said exasperated. Naruto was so annoying! But strangely, that was what made him like him.

"Fine," Naruto said, not noticing the intent gaze Sasuke had on him. "Okay I lost the pants, now what?" Naruto was impatient, but of course Sasuke was worse.

"The danger could have spread to your other clothes." Sasuke said wanting Naruto to be free of those damn clothes that are obstructing (A.N. Big word! Big word!)his view of Naruto's body. "Take off all of your clothes." Naruto for once, did as he was told without an argument. Sasuke also started to take hs clothes off, and he even had an excuse for it. He would need it in 3... 2... 1.

"Sasuke!!" Naruto yelled, "why are you taking off your clothes?!" Bingo! Sasuke Smirked for two reasons, 1, he was right about Naruto freaking out, and 2, Naruto was done undressing.

"Because my clothes could have also gotten contaminated," said Sasuke, proud of his quick thinking. But that sense of pride was quickly replace buy some very different feelings.

"Sasuke! What... What the fuck are you doing?!" Naruto yelled for Sasuke had come up behind him and started kissing his neck.

"Huh?" Sasuke was a little bit disoriented by the taste of Naruto's skin and by his perverted thoughts. "I am... Uh...I'm performing a jutsu to get rid of a residue of the evil." Sasuke then decided to answer no more questions (A.N. again .;) and just get on with the program.

Naruto didn't hear any of Sasuke's explanation. Right after he asked Sasuke what he was doing, Sasuke some how destroyed any thoughts in his head just by kissing and licking his neck.

Sasuke pushed Naruto to the ground and kissed Naruto on the mouth, slipping his tongue in as Naruto gasped. Sasuke then started to grind his hips into Naruto's.

"Oh my god," Naruto moaned while Sasuke moved on top of him.

Sasuke moved his mouth lower, trailing his tongue along Naruto's collar. "Mmmn, Sasuke." moaned Naruto.

Sasuke lifted his head to look at Naruto, "What?"

"Is this suppose to feel like this?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke smirked, "Like what?" He asked before lowing his mouth to Naruto's chest.

"So umm..." Naruto gasped as Sasuke took his nipple into his mouth. "So good?" Naruto managed to finish.

Sasuke stopped his ministrations long enough to reply. "Yes it is." Then he lowered his mouth even farther, pausing to trail his tongue around Naruto's navel. He then took Naruto into his mouth making Naruto gasp and instinctively buck. Sasuke held his hip down while he moved his tongue around the head.

Naruto was going crazy, it just felt so good. He entwined his hand in Sasuke's hair and moaned his name.

Sasuke heard Naruto moan and felt himself grow even harder. He started to hum as he sucked. Shortly after doing so, he felt Naruto cum. He swallowed it quickly and released Naruto from his mouth. He pushed himself up and reached for the bottle of lube that he kept in his nightstand. He pulled the bottle from his drawer and opened it spreading some of it on his hands and on his dick.

He looked at Naruto who was watching him with a confused expression. "Naruto what I am about to do will at first hurt", he said. "So to minimize that pain I am going to need you to spread your legs.

"Oh... Okay", Naruto answered as he complied. Sasuke happily noticed that Naruto didn't even ask why this time.

Once he did so, Sasuke stuck a finger into Naruto which caused him to squirm uncomfutably. Sasuke moved it around until Naruto jumped and gave a loud moan. Sasuke smirked, and contined moving his fingers in and out adding more when he deemed necessary. Finally when Naruto felt like he was about to explode Sasuke stoped. Naruto started to complain but Sasuke headed him off.

"Naruto are you sure you are ready," Sasuke asked, not wanting to hurt Naruto more than he had to.

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment then nodded dumbly.

Sasuke took a deep breath as he positioned himself at Naruto's entrance and eased into his causing a low hiss in pain. "Shh Naruto", Sasuke said, "it won't hurt much longer." Sasuke waited until he was sure that Naruto had adjusted to his size as much as possible before slowly pulling out. Once he was just barely inside of Naruto he thrusted back into Naruto hard as he started a fast pace. Naruto instinctively started to match his thrust for thrust.

Naruto soon came with Sasuke following shortly with one last thrust and pulled out of Naruto. He layed on his side careful not to crush Naruto under him. He was tired and could feel the last remants of energy drain away. The last thing he said was, "I love you Naruto."

Naruto, who also was drifting off, opened his eyes with a jolt. Sasuke said WHAT?!?

* * *

A.N. Thank you all who took the time to read this. It took me forever to type and I am a little proud of the result. Please Read and Review. Thank you!!! . 


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